I’m a little disbelieving at the moment, but I’m fast approaching the end of my final semester of undergraduateness at UQ. With it comes a few realisations for me, that a) I really do want to pursue science as a full-blown career, b) I might be OK at it too, and c) that I care more about science than I ever have about my music.
The last point is the most important – the most scary thing I’ve ever admitted, and what gets me most excited about the future.
Music has always come naturally to me – I’ve never had to work for it. Admittedly, I’ve never really succesfully marketed myself as a composer, but if I really did care and wanted to work hard for my music career to succeed, I would have found a way.
However, for science, I’ve had to work very hard to get to the point I am now. It’s never come naturally. It may never come naturally – but I know now that if I commit to something, I can make it happen. Three years of science has taught me more about myself than 12 years of music ever has.
I’m really excited. A bit frustrated that it’s taken me until I’m 30 to realise it, and that I’ve put Amanda through so many years of cheap student living – but excited that there’s something I might actually take hold of with both hands, rather than a disinterested middle finger. 🙂